Supporting Parents of Neurodiverse Children: A Guide to Patience and Compassion, Especially During the Holiday Season

Parenting is a journey filled with love, growth and certainly challenges. For parents of neurodiverse children, this journey can include additional hurdles, such as sensory overload, public meltdowns and the need and desire for understanding from those around them. The holiday season, with its vibrant lights, loud festive music, and bustling gatherings, can amplify these challenges, making it crucial for communities to offer support and compassion rather than judgment. I appreciate that many companies and events are increasingly offering sensory-friendly options for our neurodivergent family members. Below are several ways in which you can support them instead of passing judgment and being a critical observer.

Understanding Neurodiversity

According to Harvard Health Publishing, “Neurodiversity describes the idea that people experience and interact with the world around them in many different ways; there is no one "right" way of thinking, learning, and behaving, and difference are not viewed as deficits.” In its truest sense, neurodiversity celebrates the variety of human brains and the unique ways they function. Children with autism, ADHD, and other neurodiverse conditions may experiences the world completely differently that you or I. This can result in behaviors that appear challenging to outsiders, such as sensory overload and difficulty with transitions, particularly during the hectic holiday season filled with flashing lights, large crowds, loud music and much more.

The Reality of Meltdowns

Meltdowns are not tantrums! They are intense responses to overwhelming situations and are beyond the child's control. Recognizing this difference is the first step towards empathy. During the holidays, the sensory input from crowded malls, loud parties, and bright decorations can trigger these responses. Parents often feel judged during these moments, adding to their stress. Your understanding and patience can positively impact an overwhelmed, stressed parent.

How to Offer Support

• Practice Patience: Understand that meltdowns are a part of the child's coping mechanism. Patience is key. Offer a reassuring smile or a simple, "Is there anything I can do to help?" This shows empathy and understanding.

• Avoid Judgment: It's easy to jump to conclusions about parenting skills, but remember, every child is different. Refrain from making assumptions or offering unsolicited advice. Instead, offer a kind word or a gesture of support.

• Educate Yourself: Learn about neurodiversity and the specific challenges these families face. Knowledge fosters empathy and allows you to provide more meaningful support.

• Be a Friend: Sometimes, just being there to listen is the best support you can offer. Let parents know you're there for them without judgment, ready to lend an ear or a helping hand.

• Encourage Inclusivity: Advocate for environments that welcome neurodiverse individuals. Support businesses and schools that embrace inclusivity, and encourage others to do the same.

What to Know

• Every Child is Unique: Neurodiverse children have their own strengths and challenges. Embrace individuality and inspire others to do so, despite a cultural tendency to “normalize” and categorize people, which often reveals our own ignorance.

• Parents Need Support Too: Parenting a neurodiverse child is rewarding but can be exhausting and at times “embarrassing” based on others' responses. Offering to help with small tasks or simply checking in can be incredibly supportive.

• Meltdowns are Not a Reflection of Parenting: Understand that meltdowns are not a sign of poor parenting. They are a natural part of the child's experience.

By choosing compassion over judgment, you can make a positive impact in the lives of neurodiverse families. Your support not only helps parents feel less isolated but also contributes to a more understanding and inclusive community. Together, we can create a world that celebrates every child, especially during the holiday season when empathy and kindness are crucial amidst the chaos of shopping and family gatherings, which may be easy for some but can be challenging for families of neurodiverse children.

Be patient, kind, loving, and supportive to others!

Mewsic Moves has supported neurodiverse families for over 20 years. We offer complimentary 15-minute consultations to discuss our services and how music therapy can aid your family's goals and needs.

Click here to schedule your FREE 15-min consultation.

We also offer FREE resources and events for parents and professionals:

Click here for FREE Family Resources/Events

Click here for FREE Professional Resources/Events

Wishing you and your family the best of the holiday season!

Mewsic Moves Spotlighted in Undivided Article for Transformative Music Therapy Approaches

In a recent blog by Undivided, Mewsic Moves was highlighted for its impactful use of music therapy to support neurodiverse clients and those with neurologic conditions throughout Los Angeles. The article provides an introduction to music therapy, explaining its benefits, especially for children with disabilities. It also discusses how Mewsic Moves tailors therapeutic approaches to meet the unique needs of each individual, using music as a powerful tool for communication, emotional expression, cognitive and physical development.

You can read the full article here.

Thank you Undivided for all the support you provide! Check them out here:

John Mews, LMFT, NMT

Embracing Neurodiversity: Evolving Autism Care Beyond ABA Therapy

In recent years, discussions surrounding autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and its treatment have evolved significantly. Traditionally, Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy has been the predominant approach for managing the behaviors of children with autism. Some still recommend up to 20 hours of ABA per week. However, there is a growing acknowledgment of the limitations and criticisms associated with ABA therapy.

Numerous articles delve into the critiques and hurdles associated with Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) as the predominant therapy for children diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Below are a few examples:

1. The Controversy Around ABA by Child Mind Institute.  

2. ABA Therapy Controversy by Total Care Therapy

3. The Controversy over Autism’s  most Common Therapy by Spectrum Autism Research News

4. Concerns About ABA-Based Intervention: An Evaluation and Recommendations by Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders

As our comprehension and appreciation for neurodiversity grows, and as we aim for methods that are both inclusive and efficient, it becomes imperative to delve into alternative viewpoints. This includes considering approaches that view autism as a neurological condition rather than solely emphasizing behavioral modification. After all, Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is classified as a neurological and developmental disorder, not solely a behavioral one.

Autism as a Neurological Condition

Autism spectrum disorder is a complex neurodevelopmental condition characterized by differences in social interaction, communication, and behavior. Research suggests that autism has strong neurological underpinnings, with differences in brain structure and function compared to neurotypical individuals. Viewing autism through a neurobiological lens highlights the importance of addressing the core challenges individuals with autism face, such as sensory sensitivities, executive functioning difficulties, and atypical processing of social cues.

Questions about ABA Therapy

ABA therapy is a behaviorally based intervention that aims to modify and shape behaviors through reinforcement techniques and some still practice reward and punishment in their ABA sessions. While it has been widely used and has shown some benefits for individuals with autism, there are significant concerns and criticisms associated with this approach. Critics argue that ABA therapy focuses excessively on normalization and compliance, often at the expense of the individual's autonomy and well-being. Additionally, ABA's emphasis on outward behavior modification may overlook the underlying neurological differences and fail to address the unique needs of individuals with autism.

Moving Towards Neurodiversity and Acceptance

Treating autism as a neurological condition rather than solely a set of behaviors encourages a shift towards a more holistic and inclusive approach. Embracing neurodiversity acknowledges the inherent value and strengths of individuals with autism, promoting acceptance and inclusion in society. Instead of viewing autism as something to be fixed or normalized, this perspective emphasizes providing support and accommodations that align with the individual's neurobiological profile and preferences.

Alternative Approaches to ASD

In recent years, various alternative approaches to ABA therapy have gained attention and research support, prioritizing improved quality of life and self-determination for individuals with autism. These approaches include:

1. Strengths-Based Approaches: Recognizing and building upon the strengths and interests of individuals with autism to support their development and well-being.

2. Sensory Integration Therapy: Addressing sensory sensitivities and difficulties through structured sensory experiences to promote self-regulation and comfort.

3. Social Skills Training: Providing targeted interventions to improve social communication and interaction skills, tailored to the individual's needs,  preferences and/or limitations.

4. Occupational Therapy: Supporting individuals with autism in developing adaptive skills for daily living and promoting independence in various contexts.

5. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Focusing on acceptance, mindfulness, and values-based behavior change to help individuals with autism lead meaningful and fulfilling lives.

6. Neurologic Music Therapy:  (NMT) is a scientifically and holistically validated treatment that harnesses the power of music to influence the brain and its neural responses. Its benefits encompass improving communication and social skills, regulating emotional responses, addressing sensory needs and enhancing overall cognitive development. 

As our understanding of autism continues to evolve and we understand the variations of the spectrum, it's essential to reevaluate traditional approaches to treatment and embrace more inclusive and person-centered perspectives. By shifting the focus from behavior modification to addressing the underlying neurological differences, we can better support the diverse needs and strengths of individuals with autism. While ABA therapy may have a place in the spectrum of interventions, it's crucial to explore alternative approaches that prioritize acceptance, autonomy, neurobiology and well-being. Ultimately, by embracing neurodiversity and adopting a more nuanced understanding of autism, we can create a more supportive and inclusive society for all.

At Mewsic Moves, our mission is to foster a culture of respect and acceptance for every individual, irrespective of their limitations. We prioritize autonomy, aiming to boost confidence and encourage self-expression and confidence. Through our neurologic music-centered approach and acceptance-based therapy, we empower individuals to embrace their true selves while also aiding them in achieving their personal goals. Our programs and tailored supports are flexible, adapting to the unique needs and communication styles of each client.

Our services include group and individual support in our 3 locations: Santa Monica, Torrance and Long Beach, CA. For more on our group programs check out the links below.

Glee Choir: www.mewsicmoves.com/glee-choir

Rock Band: www.mewsicmoves.com/rock-band

Music based social skills groups: www.mewsicmoves.com/social-skills

We offer a free 15-minute consultation and are excited to explore how our neurobiologically informed Music Therapy can support your loved one through a treatment grounded in acceptance and research.

Click here to schedule your FREE 15-minute consultation. We look forward to supporting you.